Dumb, Lazy and Fat!

Alphonse was here last week and finally we were going to have a nice hike after a long time discussion and planning. Good? No! Not at all! It was an embarrassing failure!
He landed in YYC and I went to pick him up what I saw was quite shocking: He has turned himself to a fat-fuck who barely can walk! He was in shorts and shirts and like most people here in North America showed no shame! I would never be able to dress and walk in the public like that: A wrinkly stupid short above the knee which shows out-of-shape calves and big belly like a pig, shabby t-shirt to expose hairy arms, not clean-shaven and bald! How the fuck a decent and understanding man walk like that is beyond my imagination! We tried to rent a car but the bastards said either there was nothing available or they wanted us to rent for two days. I realized that we should have rented for two days, later! 

A small bottle of Gatorade, 591 ml, have you seen anything more ridiculous than this? 591 ml! has 34 grams of sugar! Welcome to the world of addiction!

The first two days was spent on a seeing the Calgary and area. I realized that he not only looks like a pig but also eats like a pig(!) and it's inevitable! We went to this nice cafe/bistro in Kensington called Amato and there he first ate a sandwich which was as small as a little mouse(!) and then a Coffee and an Ice Cream! He was eating like pig! You've seen pigs eating in a way that pieces are falling out of their mouth! He was copying them very successfully! And then he left a bit of ice cream in the bowl! 
His disgusting and pig-like life style did not limit to that. The next morning we headed to a local supermarket and it was amazing what he purchased:

 
1- A case of bottled water. He later drank from the kitchen faucet!

2- Two bottles of energy drink, Gatorade to be exact. These so-called energy drinks are loaded with sugar and food colouring and is probably good for a professional hockey player not a fat fuck lazy ass who can barely hold himself on his two legs because of his weight!

3- A number of Bananas. Banana is full of sugar and carbohydrate. Why the hell a fat-fuck, obese idiot would eat banana while has no physical activity?!

4- A small bag of Apples. Possibly the only good thing he bought! 

5- A pack of energy bar! Again these so-called energy bars are filled with sugar. You might need them while you're practicing for the Olympics but not if you're sitting on your ass all day long and have difficulty to move!

6- A bag of mixed nuts and dried fruit. Not a bad choice but do you need this much food? Are we going to face a famine or what?!

Our plan was to climb up Abraham Mountain and I tried to convince him to get up early but he woke up at around 05:00 while saying that he had been up since 04:00! We headed north to Rocky Mountain House and then toward west and then south to be on Highway #11. We found the trail-head with not much difficulty because I have the GPX track on my phone but the fact that we started very late, around 10:35 and it was warm. That however was not the main problem. The idiot started nagging and complaining just after half an hour and said that he could not carry on! 
I tried to persuade him to follow me but between the damn hot weather, his continuous nags and the useless, unreliable App, we decided to go back down after about an hour and a half! 
Coming down was not see easy either! It was hotter and the GPX tracker was not helping much! After a disastrous descend we headed back east to go to Rocky Mountain House and then home but we stopped in this little community of Nordegg which had been recommended by a lady when we stopped for a bit of shopping in Rocky Mountain House earlier.

My slice of pie at Miners' Cafe. It has berries and rhubarb. Very delicious

Nordegg is a hamlet about half an hour from Abraham Lake. It used to be a mining community but now is a tourists attraction. This, in fact, was the place which we should have stayed the night prior to the hike. We went to this little place called Miners' Cafe and we faced beautiful and lovely girls with smiles! This is the place you would want to stop and relax a bit and despite the price, It's worth trying. On the other hand what can you expect? You're miles away from a major city and you come to a place that you can have good food. You have to understand their situation and support them by spending there.
We ordered a couple of slices of pies and a couple of glasses of cold drinks. I don't eat outside bakery items because they all use White Flour but this was an exemption and it was good. They have ready-to-bake pies for sale in their refrigerator for $24 which seems over-priced and what's cheap these days?!  
We enjoyed the snack and headed back home. The pies were so good that Alphonse said later that he would have gotten Uber to go there to get a pie if it had not been too far away! He wanted to get something for dinner, after eating a slice of pie and many other healthy(!) snacks that he had brought! I told him that we had some chicken from the previous night but he insisted to stop at a local Subway! No problem, I said. " I would be okay with the chicken ", I added. Guess what he got for his supper at Subway? Chicken Teriyaki foot-long! Isn't it just the proof that he's a nut-bag?! 

The sizzling Chicken at Gate of India. Alphonse's meal.

The next day was a working day and I left him and then met him in Calgary. We went to Gate of India which I had tried before a few times. I had to add here that Gate of India, on Country Hills Boulevard is amongst a few Indian restaurants that you can go in confidence and be sure that you get a good food but it's a bit pricey. His idiocy and lack of knowledge show themselves there as well! He wanted a Veggie Platter and when they brought it he was surprised! This meal, in East Indian food culture means Samosa, Pakora and shit like that which in fact are worse than meat! The dinner cost me $58.35 but it's okay. He's my buddy, an idiot one. He left the next morning. 
The first thing I noticed when I came home after he left was the strong odor in the room that he had spent his nights! It was awful and still is disgusting! I vacuumed the room and I'm going to throw everything that he used in the washing machine! I truly don't know how someone could live like a pig and who is the female pig living with him but what I know is I'm going to get him! Not soon but either at the end of the year or early next year I will plan for a hike and will avenge myself! 

(Photo, top: Abraham lake from the trail of Abraham Mountain. This is as high as we got, possibly only 1/3 of the entire trail until you get to the summit! Ridiculous!)