Friday, March 21, 2008

Norooz (2008)

Thanks that I'm fucking far away from the fucking shithole that I was born in and don't have to fucking attend those stupid Norooz parties or do the stupid Norooz shopping!
Nevertheless I had to call F. F. because we're considered engaged and I did yesterday to say Happy Norooz to her. I send her a text message before that. She asked me to say Happy Norooz to her Mom, brother and sister-in-law, the fucking bitch that I hate the most. I said OK. She also said that she would answer my e-mail as soon as she got home.
Then I checked my e-mail and noticed that she had not said a word about what I had earlier mentioned about Peoples. That drove me crazy. That’s what she always does. She either doesn’t read the mails or reads and doesn’t care. So I didn’t answer back. Today again she e-mailed and asked where I was. I decide not to answer and then give her a good piece of advice. I don’t care if I lose her. I think she loves me but her carelessness makes me angry. I like her a lot and in last 24 hours have changed the tone of e-mail that I’m goin’ to submit to her. But once again I don’t care if I lose her because I have no plan and future and joining her doesn’t help much. That might brings more headaches and she might eventually leaves after a few months or years. I have lost so much valuable things that nothing seems valuable to me anymore, not even F. F. who’s a very pretty, petite, creative, lovely, young and ambitious girl.
I checked my application status with CF Recruiting Centre in Vancouver as I mentioned in one earlier post and I think CF is my only option. If the Navy doesn’t accept me, I'll apply for a job or will volunteer in the Army and will be deployed to fucking Afghanistan. They'll love that! Having the Afghanistan mission extended to 2011, I will either get killed and get rid of this miserable life – which is very possible – or get back here. Either way is fine to me, although the first one is very possible.

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