Ali G. and Mercedes

This story is a short one that Ali G., my buddy told me about the jealousy of Canadians, years ago when we used to hang out, back in the early 2000's:

Ali G. purchased a used Mercedes for $,5000 for his daily commutes and everything else. Mercedes is a very reliable and good car, until it isn't. Barely needs any service. I think his was a 190 e. We went to Banff and Lake Louise with that and basically every time we hung out, he drove it. He told me that his colleagues (Canadians, all) always made fun of him and said stupid thing about driving a luxury car, although it was used, by a foreigner and he always ignored them. The car eventually stopped right in the middle of the road! People helped him to push it aside and he never drove it after that. He then bought a brand new 2006 Acura, I don't know what model but I do know it was considered a luxury car at the time. I don't know the stories about that car but I know he moved to Lerthbridge after that , to work for Pepsico.

(Photo: I and Ali G. used to hang out for a few years back in the early 2000's as I wrote above but never were close friends in a way to take pictures together or anything like that. Beside camera phones and digital cameras were not as popular as they are now and everyone takes pictures of everything including the time they have an intimate relationship and sell it, so there's no picture of his Mercedes but I believe it was something similar to this, above. The interesting thing is this car at the time it came out of the assembly plant was available in two colours: Black and Metallic Black! My grandfather had a Mercedes too but that would be, probably, the subject of another post)

A Jealous Asshole

One of the things that you face here in Canada a lot, is jealousy. The country has been the land of mostly poor people from around the world coming for a better life. People without education, running water, electricity, not enough to eat, barely covering themselves in anything, etc. Try The Philippines, Poland, Bulgaria, Romania, Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Ukraine, you name it. The funny thing is the last 6 called themselves European! European my ass! They cannot even feed themselves as well as India! There are also many Latinos and of course some Africans. So basically it is a toilet, as I have mentioned earlier. In case you wonder why I came to this toilet, I ran away from fundamentalism which is a separate story. 

When the US started to mess with western Asia, and for the ignorant who might read this and don't know where the western Asia is(!),  the area is at the west side of the biggest continent in the word which starts from Turkey and extends to Japan. Another funny thing is some public toilets, in the past few years have considered themselves European!!! Lands of absolutely nothing, tried to be part of E. U.(!!!!) as well. We'll discuss that in another post but western Asia consists of countries such as Lebanon, Iraq, Syria, Iran and a few more. The region is called the Middle East(!!!!) by some alcoholic, ignorant, careless, toilet-fast-food-eater animals, in the US and many other places. For the exact same reason that those motherfuckers call the Native inhabitants of North America, Indians! These people's skull is filled with cat piss and dog feces. They can't think enough. They eat, shit (in the mouth of their own nasty mothers) and fuck! That is all they can do! 

Nevertheless when the things start going down in Iran, many people started to think about immigration. At the beginning it was the US and some European countries, mostly as students, then came Canada. These people were mostly educated and could handle their own lives easily. Some of my former classmates and colleagues now have very good, well-paid and stable positions in the US and Canada. This, cannot be accepted by, most of the, Canadians! They become jealous and all sorts of reactions could be seen. I will tell my buddy's story, Ali G., from the time we worked for Cargill Meat Solutions later. The jealousy is also seen within other foreigners. One of the assholes whom I had to deal with these years and I lied to him a lot is The Mumbling Guy and this is what happened recently:

I don't drive my new car, usually. Did not in winter because didn't want to spend money in winter tires. Now the ice and snow season is over, I'll take it to work once a week! I have told everyone who has asked about it, because it's an unusual vehicle, that it is not mine and made up an story for the jealous assholes. The Mumbling Guy approached me a few days ago and asked me about it. That was the second time he was asking. I told him the same story that I had made up for other assholes. This ignorant fuck doesn't understand the concept of Hybrid-Electric! So I told him that the car has a small battery (which is true) and is good for only 70 Km, which also is true! The poor ugly bastard thinks it's an EV! Then he goes this might be a issue!! Imagine an ugly motherfucker who does not understand basic English grammar after more than 20 years of living in the toilet and has a Master's Degree! I told him that I had talked to the company people and they told me it would be okay to plug the vehicle in! He said okay and fucked off! I made up a more detailed story about the owner of the car which is not needed to be said here, just to shut him up but he was not happy! 

(Photo: I took this picture in Nagasaki during a walk. I wondered why they have parked like that. Perhaps they leave at the same time. The front car is amongst a few Japanese cars that I have seen here in Canada and Japan, both)

How to become a Manager in Canada

This post helps whoever thinks they have the potential to become a Manager in Canada. This is based on years of working in different industries mainly manufacturing and engineering Please read carefully and follow everything. Any questions come to mind, send it to me. I will answer them all when I have time and one by one:

1) You need to be a Canadian Caucasian or born in Canada from any parents but act like a Canadian. What that means is say nonsense such as How was your weekend even if you don't care(!), complain about the weather all the time despite the fact that you are born in the country and are used to the damn weather, whine about it all the time like an old 89-year old retired man, go to the local fast food joints to fill yourself with poison, buy whatever you can get your hands on without thinking what it is. Discuss that the next morning at work. Be proud that you support the local businesses.

2) You can complain about everything but work. Remember working in Canadian businesses is similar to living a dictatorship such as Saudi Arabia, Myanmar, Turkmenistan or similar. The same way that criticizing the government results in ending up in a jail or morgue, criticizing the management or supervision results in getting your ass kicked out! So care about nothing but your own job, your bi-monthly paycheck and pleasing the assholes in the system by fake smiles and disingenuous remarks. 

3) You must NOT care about the environment, cleanliness, organization and order. Chaos and get the things done regardless of their affect on the environment or others is what helps you to get ahead. The dirtier and less organized, the more you look desirable in the eyes of business owners and top managers.

4) The mindset you always need to keep is " I have been doing this for this many years "! This is what get you in the high levels of management and six figure salaries in Canada. If you have been a dumb, drunk idiot who have been doing the same thing over and over for many years without even asking yourself once if there is anything to improve, you would guarantee your success in reaching the high levels of Management in Canada! 

5) Two completely opposite requirements depending on the background and industry: a) Either have no formal and academic education. Barely graduate the high school and pass the finals with the skin of your teeth or have some meaningless, bullshit, good-for-the-paper-only education and certificates such as PMP, M. Sc., P. Eng. and trashes like that. These are all meaningless titles, certificates and educations that the only purpose they serve, is creating jobs and generating revenue. The concept of having the title of, for instance, P. Eng. simply is writing a stupid exam and then paying the membership for as long as they need you to do! Even if you don't believe in what you have read and never understood it, repeated it like a parrot, that's what matters! It's similar to hundreds of idiots who drive like a disgusting maniacs but do possess a Operator's License! 

6) Lack of understanding in English grammar. This is very crucial. As long as you write like a second grader and people realize you're an ignorant and lazy retard, you'll be fine. 

7) Being a kiss Ass is very important. You need to act like a Puppy! As soon as you see a higher ranking person (it's not a Military position. It's worse!) run to them and wiggle your tail! 

8) No correcting your Manager or providing meaningful and constructive suggestions will almost guarantee to become them on day after their retirement or departure. 
(Photo: I was going to post a photo of my manager who possess a good number of the above attributes, while taking a nap in his office[!] but didn't find it. Then started to search the Internet and I told myself a simple photo would work. Here is our manager for this post whom I hope possesses none of the above!)

Weird Food (4)

When you look at the list of the food which causes the most harm to your body, Ice Cream is on the top and of course it's commercialized Ice Cream which is what everyone gets. No one makes Ice Cream at home. I do have an Ice Cream Maker but it's not so good. But why is Ice Cream the worst? The answer is simple: Sugar and Saturated Fat! Honestly, what does a bowl of store bought Ice Cream have? Sugar, animal Fat from cheap Milk, fake flavours, food colouring and some other crap. Anything else? At times a few pieces of nuts of other things to show they have made an effort! Although expensive these days like many other grocery items but once you're hooked on, you can't quit! Why? Because it has the most addictive and cheapest ingredient: Sugar! The funny thing about this box (or tube) of Ice Cream of this brand (Sold at Save-on-Food supermarkets) is the sarcasm! It literally kills you but not because of Chocolate, as there's really a little to no Chocolate. It kills you because of the amount of Sugar and animal Saturated Fat it has resulting in Diabetes and some major cardiovascular diseases! These guys use the term Chocolate to describe what they have added to mixture of Sugar and Milk to taste like real Chocolate! Do you think a greedy multi-million dollar company uses real Chocolate with that high price Coco in their cheap simulated Chocolate Ice Cream?!

(Photo: Western Family brand, a Canadian logo is sold mostly in Province of British Columbia but also in Alberta. I am not aware of other locations, if any)

One Month into the Spring

There's not much to do these days but work! I don't want to write about work in every damn post. It's become my whole life now! The local temperature plummeted to -8 ℃ (~ 17.6 ℉) yesteday morning and snowed of and on from Fri. to Sun. afternoon. One month into the Albertan spring! It's quite normal in this province but this year was different. 7 to 8 months of cold, wind, snow and ice becomes too much! Add to that a bad sickness (for me Gout!) and you'd have a miserable life! On the top of those is preparation for an upcoming examination, Income Tax deadline, you name it! There's no escape from any of those. And when are all of these located?! In an uncertain situation and a very expensive society! 

I went for jogging in the afternoon while it was only -3 ℃ (~ 26.6 ℉). Very refreshing, satisfactory and delightful! No other sole on the sidewalks, only a couple of people walking their dogs or simply strolling while bundled up! It was neither cold, nor windy. Just cloudy. 

(Photo: This was not taken yesterday but shows what exactly was going on in the past few days. I was too tired and lazy to take a new one!)

Staying Positive in the Anniversary

It was my first year anniversary at this new work, this week which we are about to finish it. Things have not been so bad but kind of stressful. The manager, The Mumbling Guy has proved himself as a spinless, stupid, ignorant, coward, shithead yet he matches the other fellas in the Barn! That's what the company is called. However there're some positive sides to this job. I don't have to drive too far. The total amount of time I spend on driving on a day does not surpass 1 hour, both ways and it's 95 per cent highway driving. I get as many as 20 days paid vacation. I learn a lot. There's not much or at all physical work. My working hours are fare. There are only a few assholes whom I have to deal with on a daily basis. I get the opportunity of writing a few examinations for certification and then get reimbursed. Yet I keep my eyes open for any better opportunity. 
(Photo: I used to spend as much as one hour and ten minutes on the road, one day, each way, five days a week! It took a toll on the vehicle and resulted in so much fuel and maintenance cost. Now they all are gone and I hope I can keep it that way)