Stressful Days

It has been three or more stressful damn days. I've never been nervous before or during interviews but because I've been screwed over and over in the past 2 years or so, this time my level of anger went so high that I fear I might have a heart attack! In fact I have been feeling a pain at the left side of my back and whether I die soon or not, I don't know! Several factors have been involved and I never even imagine that life would be messy like this when I attempted immigration! Maybe it's not the time talking about something that happened but things have been difficult lately and I'm not complaining! I have the following issues on my hand:

1) Residence. It's a disgusting dump I live in! I hate high-rises and elevators and I have to deal with them almost every day. 

2) Job and career. I missed a wonderful opportunity this past Dec. and not applied for any job in my field of expertise since. Not that there are many jobs available. The ones which are available, as usual ask for a lot and pay you just a little. They ask for a truck load of certificates and knowledge. This job that I have had since Nov. is not too bad. Gets really annoying at times because I switch back and force from working inside and outside without having proper attire and this has really been cold. In addition to that it's the bullshit that I have to put up with almost every day. I probably have to start posting new series of Workplace Stories in regards to this new job because at times it becomes very interesting! 

3) Relationship. The weakest point of my life has always been my relationship with opposite sex! That has cost me very much both mentally (and subsequently physically) and financially. Not that I've been disrespectful of women or anything like. It has never been easy for me to keep a relationship healthy and for a meaningful time. This is subject of another post, maybe, later. 

Having those in mind I had been scheduled for this interview almost three weeks ago and I communicated with my buddy, A. F. (I ought to find a nickname for him soon!) in that regards a few times, both via e-mail and telephone and I believed I was ready but still was agitated and uncomfortable when I left home for that in the morning. I arrived at the site almost 45 min. earlier to the time(!) and sat in the car in the damn cold! Luckily the interviewer was late only 5 min. and I sat at the table after the initial introduction. There were only two people and I signed a paper indicating that I would not disclose anything about the interview and I'm not. Similar to all other interviews I've had so far I don't even mention the name of the company or organization. They then explained the way the interview would go. I immediately panicked(!) because the nature of the interview was time based and after I saw the damn question I thought there was a big possibility that I wouldn't be able to analyse the situation and provide a proper answer! I won't even mention the time I had to prepare the answers. I'm careful that much but after reading the questions I found them not that difficult. I started reading, analyzing, making notes and preparing answers in my mind while I had an eye on the clock. I was able to get my thoughts together and finish the answers before the time was up. I then provided them with the answers. I shared an eyes contact with both. They made notes about what I was saying. The next part of interview, first, sounded more difficult but I guess I handled that as well as the first part. The interview ended there and they asked me if I had any question. I wanted to know what the next step would be. I realized that it was a very long process and might take as long as 2 months before I'm even sent for training! It's good that I have this job and at least I can pay to eat and drive around! I then was thought that there was a problem with one of the documents that I had presented at the beginning of the session! Happily they agreed to bring it to them in the afternoon! I had this problem with CAF exactly a year ago(!) but they were not as strict as these guys or I would not have been enrolled in CFLRS! I never thought that would be a problem. So I drove all the way back home, grabbed the item and drove back to the interview location. But not that easy! On my way back to the location there was a damn traffic congestion and I hate nothing more than that! I didn't have to wait long, probably not more than 5 min. or so but that made me uncomfortable and more agitated! Then on my way I decided to stopped at a McDonald's and get an unhealthy breakfast sandwich as I had not eaten any lunch or breakfast and the idiots messed up my order! How difficult is that to take someone's order and deliver it to him or her correctly?! I guess extremely difficulty for some! But that is not the end. I made a stupid mistake there as well, Instead of sitting my ass down in the lobby and eat the damn thing I ate that at the wheel! That was when I realized that they had made a mistake but I didn't want to turn back! Luckily and after further explanation, they accepted my document and the interview finally ended, not knowing, of course, whether I passed or failed. I guess in cases such as this one, there is usually no pass or failure. Candidates are interviewed and a number are selected and sent to the next stage. Thus despite the fact that I do well in the interview, they might select other candidate(s) based on other factors. Even if I pass the interview, there's no guarantee that I am enrolled in. There are other critical steps to pass before the employment is finalized and similar to CAF, with a number of differences, the actual employment, commences when the training is successfully is finished by the candidate. And then, and only after a probationary period, the employment is finally finalized! However similar to any other career, a stupid mistake could cause the person this permanent position. 

The story is not ended here! While I was waiting in the car to go back and confirm the authenticity of my document, the damn telephone rang and it was another province's area code! You see? I don't even say what province it was! First I thought it was a friend calling me to ask what had happened in the interview. I thought he was calling from his work because that was not his number that I had saved in the telephone but as soon as I answered the call I realized that in fact no one cares about what's going on with my life! That, in fact the HR of this current job of mine, offering a permanent position! I've written already that I have been given this position by a recruiting agency and since I worked well, they decided to hire me and that is a good news because I need something reliable before being able to start the actual position that I attended its interview today! 

That is all. That's all happened today and I still am so angry, mostly, at myself. All the carelessness and stupidity are paying now. I need a good vacation and I'm even offered to go and join an old buddy down in The States but I don't know if I get the chance to go or not! Regardless of the money, which the majority of that would be spent on airfare, I need days off which I doubt I can get at this job. Besides that I have to be alert in case I receive anything regarding this job application. I guess a wise decision would be save the available days for the time of need although vacation, in my position, is a need!