Like Father, Like Son

There was this guy in the old country that we were friends during primary and junior high. Our parents were friends too and we had a very strong friendship. The lad had, most of the time, issues at the school in terms of learning. So the parents decided to send him abroad to save him from ending up like a bum. I'm not sure how they thought he would be able to manage that but they sent him to Turkey where his aunt lived. This fella who was friend of mine had also a brother, the only sibling who had troubles, this one not with learning and school but with his own personal life. The guy was almost 12 years older than us who were at the same age and the reason for that we their parents had him first and the father was in jail for political reasons and when he came out, shortly after his release they had the second son who was my schoolmate and then classmate and friend, finally. Anyways the guy left for Turkey and we were not in touch very much because there was no Internet and E-mail in those days but I used to write him and he used to write back until he was not able to stay in Turkey for visa reasons and ended up in Sweden. I don't know how he did that but my assumption is he made up a story and blamed the war (Iran-Iraq War) and sought asylum in that country and similar to many others he was accepted. I believe that's where he's at the moment.

Anyways this story, with this preface, is mainly about his brother who had problems. I know he was a drinker where drinking could lead to heavy penalties but his sins was not limited to that. He was smoking narcotics too. I guess his was Heroin but I wouldn't know because my knowledge was very limited at the time in account of my youth, even now, but it could have been Opium too because it was popular at the time. He had relationship or maybe relationships with other women. At least I know one of them which was with a married woman whose his husband made a scene in the neighborhood! This was after my friend, his brother had left the old country but we witnessed another beautiful scene a few years before that together, I and my friend: We were playing on the playground and everything was like a normal day while all of a sudden we saw three guys approaching my friend's house. When they passed us we realized they all were carrying a some sort of things which was in fact a cold weapon. I remember clearly that one of them had a small knife in his hand hidden in a way that you could only see it from if you were behind him. The other two had clubs or sticks. I don't know how my friend's brother learnt they were approaching or maybe he had screwed up something and was expecting them (otherwise why would they be there, armed, in the first place!) he appeared at their door with a big long stick similar to and as long as the ones which are used to make ladders! These are the scenes that I clearly have them in my mind after probably more than 30 years because we were just little kids but I don't know how they got separated. I know no fight broke out. I guess the neighbours came out and kind of protected him because after all he was a known troubled person in the neighbourhood and his buddies and neighbours wanted to protect him from being beaten up. I'm sure the police was never called. He survived that time. The other time that I witnessed his trouble was a few years after my friend had left the old country. I remember I was in my room where you could see the whole neighbourhood street and playground including the friend's parents house and my friend's brother apartment (whom I call him S. L. herein after) and heard a vehicle was driving very fast, like a maniac and stopped just a feet a way from the house! I don't remember whether I was looking out of the window at the time or I was sitting at my desk but I was surprised when I saw that. The vehicle was a luxury Mercedes which must have cost a lot at the time and we all learnt later that it belonged to a gentleman that S. L. had affairs with his wife! The so-called wife apparently had an affair with S. L. before her marriage to the wealthy guy, when they both were teenagers or older and the wife also happen to be the sister of our up-stair's neighbour's wife! So you can see how complicated the problem was at the time. I saw him getting out of the vehicle and banging on the door while yelling and cursing, demanding the guy to come out! I guess S. L. was inside but had probably no balls to confront the wealthy guy. First of all because he knew that he was the one who had screwed with his wife and secondly he perhaps thought that he was not able to handle him physically because the husband could be armed and S. L. was struggling with drugs and not in a very good shape. At this moment S. L.'s Mom showed up at the door trying to calm the guy down. He was furious and swearing at S. L. and his Mom who actually was standing before him. I don't know why S. L.'s father didn't come out because he showed up later when the negotiations started but my guess is the cowards thought by sending the poor, old skinny lady they could by mercy from the pissed off guy! Or maybe it was an imbarasment to protect his outlaw son from a furious husband.
Then I saw him going back in to his Mercedes and this time he pretended to drive towards the door! That was crazy and there was a big chance that the lady, S. L.'s mother get hit and hurt really badly! This stupidity was carried on for a few minutes until he was temporarily calmed down by I don't remember who but later the guy, S. L.'s father and our neighbour got together to negotiate the problem! I guess they saved S. L.'s ass that night. I don't clearly remember this part but my father could have acted as a meddle at the time because that was his friend's son. This might have been any year between 1985 and 1987 but that's a wild guess only! 

I almost forgot to mention one interesting part of S. L.'s life, his marriage which ended up in divorce after a few years and having two sons (one of them is the one who is the subject of this post). What I don't remember is either he was divorced when the angry husband attacked his parent's house or not but what I do clearly remember is that his parents didn't like the woman he had chosen for marriage. She was a girl who already had a son from his previous marriage and I truly don't remember what her profession was but I do recall that she looked like a very horny woman and used to disappear for months! When I say disappear I really mean that because I guess the girl used to leave the boys and S. N. and go to her Mom's or maybe her lover(s)! Whether she has a secret lover or not, I don't know but that was most likely the case. The boy from the previous marriage, as far as I remember used to spend most of his time with his Mom and the new family. So all 5 people lived in a small tiny one bedroom apartment. 

I guess eventually years of miserable life and having trouble with different things led the guy to think of leaving the country as well. I guess it was either 1989 or after that when he, I learnt later, paid smugglers and they provided him the opportunity to go to Canada! I guess all 5 of them did! When I first landed here I had his telephone number, again don't remember how I had gotten it but most probably from my Mom who in turn got it from his Mom. So I called him in Ontario a couple of times back in 2002. One time I talked to him and he encouraged me to stay in Alberta and the other time when I called a lady told me, in English that he had been camping. I don't know whether he didn't want to talk to me or was really out but those two times were the only times I called him and in fact I talked to him once only. I got so busy with life later that I even lost his number. 

Years passed and I heard from Mom once that S. L. had moved to the States where his Mom previously had gone. They had relatives there who helped them out. Mom gave me the lady's number and I used to call her occasionally because unlike her son, she was a very nice and helpful lady who helped me and my Mom a lot. Then Mom came here too and they were in touch until Mom had a trip to the old country and when she came back she realized that she had forgotten her telephone book there. I tried to find the number first through the internet, something like White Pages but there was no success. Then I thought I might find her grandsons', S. L.'s boys on the net and through them find the lady and that was where I noticed that the younger one who happens to be 32 now had been arrested by the police on multiple charges! That was when I said: Like Father, Like Son. We all know that here the police barely arrests anyone unless the guy is really miserable and has done many things wrongly. He apparently was released after that and attended the court later or maybe awaiting his trail but the information I accessed could not be the most updated. I also found a blog which clearly names the fella and in that he describes a horrible story, according to him, that has happened to him and that goes back to 2008, almost 5 years before his arrest. In that story the guy explains that he works as a sort of laborour but that is only one side of it. We don't know what he had done, if he ever had done it that made the others treat him like that. 

I eventually found the lady's telephone number and gave it to Mom and insisted not to discuss her grandson's arrest with her but Mom told me that no one answered the call! Apparently the number is no longer in service. I do not know whether the lady has canceled her service or she no longer is OK. The only option left is calling the other son, my childhood friend who lives in Sweden now and find out through him. I haven't done it yet. Bu that would not make any difference on the troubled guy's life! I wonder where S. L. is now. I guess he is somewhere close to his Mom and the other relatives. I hope here, at least, he stays out of trouble, especially at this age!